TUAOA: The Cherry Bombs! vs The Queens of Sound
by lulamaemobster
Summary: Naruto's been kidnapped to serve a purpose for sinister than what the Akatsuki planned. Here we go again...again.
1. The Reward For Being The Strongest

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**The Reward For Being The Strongest**

"What do you mean 'kidnapped?'" Hinata asked.

"They could explain it to you better," Tsunade said as she pointed to the sullen Shikamaru, Kiba, Choji, and Lee.

In a flash, Hinata grabbed her teammate by the throat and jammed him against the wall.

"What happened?"

"We, we," he stuttered as he could see the rage in her eyes.

"Out with it!"

"Let him go," Shikamaru spoke up. "I'll tell you."

They were hanging out at Naruto's home one night when he started to feel the effects of the Bombs being away.

"Oh, damn it!"

"What's wrong with you?" asked Choji as he was eating barbecue.

"I'm tired of being apart of this total kunai fest, we need some chicks around. I like the ladies, I like the ladies. I like-a the ladies and they like-a me back."

"You'd really cheat on those girls?" Kiba asked.

"I'm not going to do anything, it's just that I finally understand what Pervy Sage was talking about."

"What do you mean?" Lee asked.

"Getting pussy makes you want to be around it more, that's what he used to tell me."

"So, what do you want do?" Shikamaru asked. "I hope it isn't too troublesome."

"For you it is, Temari's gonna give you a sandy kick in the nuts if you come out with us."

"Yeah, I heard about you, man," Kiba said with a grin on his face. "You're completely pussy whipped."

"Hey, I don't get pussy whipped," Shikamaru said standing up for his manhood. "I whip pussy, let's do this."

"Okay, there's this new club in the village that everyone goes to," Naruto said. "Let's check it out."

"I know that club," Kiba said. "We can't get in, we aren't old enough."

"The owner invites me personally."

"Really, Naruto?" asked Lee.

"Hey, when you save the village, you write your own ticket."

"Well, they don't allow dogs so I'll meet you there after I take Akamaru home."

"I'll go with you," Lee said.

About an hour later, Kiba and Lee show up to the club in time to see the doorman letting Naruto in with Shikamaru and Choji. They walk up to the door as he tries to calm down all the ladies who tried to follow Naruto and all the guys who followed them.

"Back the line up, back the line up," he said as he tried to maintain order. "Back it up, you bitch. Sons of bitches."

He takes a look at Kiba and Lee who tried to enter.

"What you want? What do you want?"

"We want to get into the club," Kiba said.

"It is 100 Ryo tonight."

"100 Ryo!?" said Kiba surprised.

"Yes, 100 ryo, 100 ryo. You do not speak Japanese? 100 fuckin' ryo, bastard."

"If he ain't got no money tell that ninja to move," one of the men in line said.

"Man, fuck you," Kiba shouted to him.

"Get out the goddamn way!"

"Man, fuck you," Kiba said as he saw Naruto. "Yo, Naruto!"

"There is no Naruto for you here tonight," the doorman said. "I feel sorry for your mother."

"What?" asked an enraged Kiba.

"I feel sorry for your sister, I call security for you."

"Man, fuck you and security. Naruto!"

"Look, man, he done asked you very calmly to back up," a said a second doorman as he tried to help

"Fuck him," the first doorman said. "Fuck him."

"Naruto!" Kiba continued to shout ignoring the doormen. "Naruto! Get me in."

Naruto came to the door and they eventually let Kiba and Lee in, they left a little later on and it began raining in the village.

"Man, we're about to get caught in the rain," Shikamaru.

"Yeah, my suit is about to get wet," Lee said.

"Man, fuck your suit," Naruto said. "We're being followed."

"I know," Kiba said. "They're getting closer."

"Let's just keep walking, they might not be following us," Shikamaru said.

Shikamaru couldn't have been more wrong as the doorman and some of his friends sprung on them.

"What now, huh?!" he shouted at Kiba. "You thought you were a bad ass at the club, you just thought you were a bad ass. I'm going fuck up a ninja tonight, it will be one of you! I am from the Leaf Village too, you bitch."

"Boss, man," the second doorman said. "Come on, spare them."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"They just wanted to get in the club tonight."

"You know what? You are acting like a bitch right now."

"No, no, they just wanted to get into the club."

"You are acting like a bitch, I want them dead. I want their mothers dead, I want their grandmothers dead," he said as he got ready to attack. "Sons of cousins of bitches."

An epic brawl broke out until the ANBU came and broke it up, despite being shinobi fighting regular villagers, Naruto and the other looked like they took the worst of the fight and decided to lick their wounds in a local bar that allowed the access because of Naruto.

"I just want you guys to know that I'm just crying because of the adrenaline," Choji said as he was eating a bag chips.

"Yeah, man," Kiba said as he held his arm.

"Hey, where's Lee?" Naruto asked.

They looked around to find Lee at the bar getting ready to take a drink.

"No!" the shouted as they rushed to stop him.

They were too late and could only watch as Lee downed the drink.

"Hey, this isn't fruit juice," Lee slurred.

He stumbled away from the bar and bumped into two surly looking men who glared at him.

"Hey, what are you lookin' at, you big jerk?"

Another fight broke out and they had to leave as Naruto paid for the damages.

"Look man, maybe we should call it a night," Shikamaru said.

"What?" asked Naruto. "Naw, man, the night is still young."

After some convincing from Naruto, they decided to continue their night out and ventured into a particularly strange part of the Village.

"Shikamaru," Kiba said. "They don't need to hear this side of the story.

Shikamaru looked at Kiba who was still in Hinata's clutches and decided to spare his friends pride. What he didn't tell them was how they continued through the unusual section of the village.

"This place looks weird," Kiba said. "I'm getting bad vibes."

"This is that section of the village the Asuma-sensei told Choji and I to never go," Shikamaru said.

"Yeah, Pervy Sage told me the same thing."

"Did he say why?" asked Kiba.

"He always said I was too young for him to tell me everything only that it was the only place where Orochimaru felt comfortable enough to live," Naruto explained. "Whatever that meant."

They kept looking around until they found some large muscular women that seemed to be prostitutes.

"Hey, ladies," Naruto said with a smile.

"Prostitutes," Shikamaru said as he and the rest of them waved to the prostitutes. "That's why they didn't want us over here.

"You boys lookin' for a good time?" one of them asked with an incredibly deep voice.

"Dude, that's a dude!" Naruto shouted.

"Man, that's a man!" Kiba shouted.

"That guy's a guy, guys," Choji shouted.

"Hey, baby," a drunken Lee said with some of his mission money in his hand. "I am drunk and I am horny."

"No, Lee!" Naruto shouted. "Somebody get him."

They were too late as Lee disappeared down an alley with the prostitutes, he reappeared about 20 minutes later sober and sullen. They all looked at him remorseful as the prostitutes smiled and waved at them until Choji broke the silence.

"Fuck it, man. A mouth's a mouth."

Choji went into the alley with the prostitutes followed by Kiba.

"No, Kiba," Naruto shouted.

"I'm just going to see what they're doing."

Lee finally snapped out of it and returned down the alley as Naruto and Shikamaru could only watch.

"I can't believe this shit man," Naruto said. "Can you? Shikamaru?"

Naruto looked around to find Shikamaru unconscious on the ground and rushed to his side.

"Shikamaru? Shik…"

Naruto feels a slight pinch in his neck before passing out.

"So, what happened to you?" Ino asked Shikamaru.

"Someone must've hit me with some sort of genjutsu because all I remember is hearing some weird song before these three woke me up."

"Wait, what kind of song?" Karin asked.

"You remember Tayuya of the Sound Four?"

"I thought it was Five," Kiba said.

"No, it was Six with Sasuke joining," Lee said.

"Anyway, it was a soothing song like hers but someone was singing and it sounded as if the person singing was in my head but we were the only people on the street at the time."

"That's right," Kiba interjected. "The only people on the street."

From the look on Karin's face, they could tell that she may or may not have known something.

"From the look on your face, Karin, we can tell that you may or may not know something."

See?

"He's just described one of them," she said.

"Them?" Tsunade asked.

"The Queens of Sound," Karin said. "Orochimaru's prized pupils."

"I thought it was Sasuke," Tsunade asked.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, Sasuke was just his next vessel," she explained. "The only reason he was taught so much was so that Orochimaru could keep up the appearance of honoring his side of the deal."

"So, who are they?" Sakura asked.

"The five most diabolical kunoichi this side of the Great Naruto Bridge."

"I've never heard of them," Tsunade said.

"You wouldn't, no one survives when they're up to something unless they're capturing shinobi for Orochimaru to conduct experiments on."

"What do they want with Naruto?" Shikamaru asked.

"I don't know but whatever it is, it can't be good."

"Do you know where to find them?" Tsunade asked.

"Yeah."

"Well, what the fuck are we waiting for?" Hinata asked.

"You go on ahead," Lady Tsunade ordered. "I'll have some shinobi track you, we can't let anything happen to Naruto."

Before leaving, Hinata had something to say to Lee and Choji.

"I am personally going to deball you two when I get back," she said. "You're lucky that you're with the only one of these skanks I actually like, Shikamaru. And you're lucky that you're my teammate, Kiba."

As they left in search of Naruto, he was just coming to.

"Flowers for me?" he asked as he was talking in his sleep. "Why, thank you, Luffy."

"I think he's waking up," a voice said.

He was slowly coming back to consciousness and becoming more aware of his surroundings.

"The girls must be back," he thought to himself.

He couldn't move his body yet, but he could feel that he was restrained and a mouth on his member.

"Didn't I tell you that it's rape when you drug me and strap me down, Karin?"

Not really wanting to fight, he just sat there and enjoyed what she was doing until he came in her mouth.

"Ah, I gotta tell you, I missed you girls."

She climbed up and straddle him letting him she that she was not Karin but a girl with green stringy hair and heavy eyeliner.

"Who are you?" he demanded as he struggled to get free.

"The name's Punku," she said as she licked his cum off of her fingers and lips.

"There's no use in struggling," another girl said.

He looked around to find himself surrounded by four other girls, the girl that spoke to him had long black hair and the most intense green eyes.

"And my name is Metaru," she said with a sneer on her face.

"I'm Jazi," said a girl with shades and a relaxed demeanor.

"You can call me Rappa," said a girl with red braided hair.

The final girl didn't say her name and just stood silent.

"Our shy friend here is Arinbi," Punk said as her juices began to flow over his abdomen. "It looks like you're turning me on."

This brought Naruto's attention to the fact that she and the other girls were naked.

"Why have you kidnapped me?"

"For this," Metaru said as she grabbed his still hard member.

"Hey, that's not for you!"

"You are going to be our baby maker," she said ignoring him.

"What?"

"That's right, we've taken over this land and it neighbor," Punku explained. "Now we plan to create our own personal army of the strongest warriors loyal only to us."

"What fuck that does that have to do with me?" he asked frantically.

"Well, to have the strongest children, we need the strongest man," Rappa, explained.

"And you fit the bill perfectly," Jazi said as she came over and kissed him.

After she took her tongue out of his mouth, he promptly spit her saliva back out.

"You know, you would've hurt my feeling just now if I wasn't so cool."

"Listen, you guys don't want me," he said as he tried to talk his way out of the situation. "I'm not the strongest guy out there."

"You aren't?" they asked in disbelief.

"No, what about Sasuke Uchiha? He kicked my ass but good three years ago and he needs a little life experience like this."

"Please, he's no one special," Punku said as she ground her pelvis into his abdomen. "Mm, take away his sharingan and he's got nothing."

"Uh, I hate to throw him under, what about Gaara?"

"Nope, you beat the guys that beat him," Metaru said.

"Uh, Kakashi-sensei?"

"He's always hurt," Rappa said.

"Have you ever heard of Might Guy?"

"Did you really suggest him?" Punk asked as they looked at him in disbelief.

"Damn, doesn't anyone want to fuck him?"

"Look, Naruto," Jazi said. "This is going to happen."

"So, who's first?" asked Metaru.

"Well, I'm already on top of him," Punku said.

She slid down balanced herself over his still hard member.

"Wait, wait, wait," he begged.

"What?" she asked impatiently.

"Do I have to enjoy it?"

"I'd like you to but no."

She slid down his member until she met with some resistance.

"Good bye, hymen," she said as she winced a little from the pain.

"Don't tell me you sluts are virgins."

"Yeah, and it doesn't help that you're so big."

Those words brought a huge smile to his face.

"What are you smiling about?" Jazi asked. "I thought you didn't want to enjoy this."

"I am a bit much down there, I'm sorry. I mean, what do you want me to do? I'm Naruto, I'm Naruto."

"Yes, you are," Punku moaned as she began to enjoy it. "A word to the wise, it's doesn't hurt as bad if you're already aroused."

Hearing her words, they started to play with themselves and each other as they waited their turns while Punku was still riding him. She increased her pace faster and faster until she came, the spasm in her walls made him come as well.

"I've never enjoyed something I didn't want to do more in my life," he thought.

Metaru, Rappa, and Jazi took their turns only leaving Arinbe who was hesitant.

"Why are you so shy?" Punku asked.

"I've only been with you four, I don't know about being with a man."

"There's nothing to it," Jazi said. "We're right here with you."

Having their encouragement, she got on top of Naruto and started to ride him as they did. They could see how awkward she was about it and decided to help her out.

"Here, we'll make it easy for you," Metaru said as they started to caress her.

Metaru and Punku each sucked one of her breasts as Rappa made out with her, Jazu was below her licking her clit while she massaged Naruto's balls. She came which made Naruto come for the fifth time.

"Can I at least take a break now?" he said out of breath.

"You don't need any rest," Punku said as she geared up to have her way with him again. "You've been asleep for a whole day now."

"And don't say anything about food," Metaru said. "We're feeding you intravenously, the only thing you need to think about eating is pussy."

"You should, be happy," Jazi said. "If you play your cards right, we could decide to make you king."

**WOW, LOOKS LIKE NARUTO IN FOR IT. I'D LIKE TO SAY HELLO TO RAVERCOZY WHO CAN GET BLACKJACK WITH ONE CARD. LEGEND OF NAMIKAZE NARUTO WHO USES ORION'S BELT AS A PINKY RING AND EATS WITH THE BIG DIPPER. AZRALEAN WHO USES TOBASCO SAUCE FOR EYE DROPS, VALLAVARAYAN WHO WAS A KNIGHT IN KING ARTHUR'S COURT KNOWN AS SIR BEATDOWN, CHEWIE COOKIES WHO IS THE EARTH'S EMERGENCY DEFENSE PLAN AGAINS AN ALIEN INVASION, ZENTARY WHO STARED EVIL IN THE FACE AND IT BACKED DOWN AND ROSE TIGER WHO ONCE KILLED FOUR BIRDS WITH A HALF STONE. WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY? THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A HALF A STONE? WELL, THAT'S WHAT THE BIRDS THOUGHT.**

**ALSO, PLEASE READ MY STORY DON'T FEAR THE REAPER AND REVIEW IF YOU HAVEN'T, I REALLY WHAT EVERYONE THINKS. IT'S UNDER MINATO AND KUSHINA OR ON MY PAGE.**

**ONE MORE THING, TODAY MAY BE MY LAST STORY FOR A WHILE WITH THANKSGIVING COMING DOWN THE PIKE SO LOOK OUT FOR ME EITHER THIS SATURDAY OR THE FOLLOWING MONDAY.**


	2. Come Get A Taste

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Come Get A Taste**

After the Queens of Sound had their way with Naruto for what seemed to him like days, they were alerted to the presence of intruders in their territory.

"Hey, we've got company," Rappu came into the room and told Jazi as she was taking her turn with Naruto.

"Go on," she told her as she rode Naruto. "I'll be there in a, in a, in a…"

She screamed as she took her orgasm from Naruto.

"Don't move," she told the restrained Naruto after giving him a kiss.

She put her clothes and gear left with the rest of the Queens to find their intruder, they searched the area surrounding their hideout and found a young girl crying all alone.

"It's just some kid," Metaru said.

"Wait," Arinbi said. "We just can't leave her here."

"You sicken me, you know," Metaru said. "I don't give a crap about some kid. Besides, it'll be more brutal if we leave her here to die."

"It's not right with all of these traps and things we set up."

"It's a wonder Orochimaru even chose you as a student," Punku said as they followed Arinbi over to the girl.

"Hey, are you okay?" Arinbi asked the girl. "What's your name?"

"My name's Rei," she said through her tears.

"What are you doing here?" Jazi asked. "Where are your parents?"

"They're back home, I came here looking for someone and couldn't find him."

"So, that's why you were crying," Arinbi said. "What does this person look like?"

"He's about 5'5'', blonde hair, blue eyes, and whisker marks on his face."

The Queens' demeanor changes as their suspicions rose.

"Who are you, really?" Metaru asked.

The girl transforms and reveals a familiar face to them.

"Karin?" Metaru said. "We should've known."

"But where's the other four?" Arinbi asked.

Realization sets in and they head back to their lair to find the Cherry Bombs leaving with Naruto wrapped up to cover his naked body. As the Queens went to check on the intruder, Hinata, Ino, Sakura, and Ten snuck into their lair in search of Naruto.

"You know what to do Hinata," Sakura said.

"Byakugan! I see him, he looks okay but they have him tied down and…"

"And what?" asked Ten.

"Naked," Hinata finished.

"Naked? We'd better hurry up and get him."

Hinata lead them through the lair until she came to the room where Naruto was being held, they opened the door to find him strapped down, hooked up and naked.

"Seriously, could I have a couple of minutes?" he begged thinking it was one of the Queens. "My cock hurts."

"I can't believe what they've done to you," Ino said.

"Ino?"

"Yeah, we came here to rescue you again."

"Oh, thank you so much."

The Queens and the Bombs with the rejoining Karin faced off with Naruto behind them.

"Give him back," Punku said.

"No, he's ours," Hinata said.

"We're not letting you leave with him," Metaru said.

"What do you want with him anyway?" asked Sakura.

"What do you think after seeing those spiky locks, those beautiful blue eyes, that rock hard body and that unbelievably huge dick?"

"Yeah, it is big," Naruto said with a smile from behind the Bombs.

"Quiet, Naruto," Ino said. "We know it's big but we were here first."

"And we'll rip your tits off if you don't get out of our way," Hinata said with malice in her eyes.

"That sounds like fun," Punku said. "But I think we'll take Naruto, if you don't mind."

"That's it," Hinata shouted. "I've had it with these spectacular bitches!"

The Bombs all prepared for battle causing the Queens to follow suit.

"Come get a taste," said Hinata initiating the battle for Naruto's genitals.

Metaru blocked a punch from Sakura but the force sent her flying through the forest, Sakura tracked her down and found her unharmed and smiling.

"You should be happy," Sakura said. "People usually die when I punch the fuck out of them. Why didn't you die?"

"Because of my Metal Health Jutsu," she said as she smashed a tree to demonstrate. "My body is as hard and as strong as steel."

"We'll see how strong you are when you get the gist of my fist."

"I could use a good fisting."

As they began their battle, Hinata and Punku locked horns with Punku defending against the Gentle Fist. She backs away and looks at the agitated Hinata with a blank expression on her face.

"Okay, so she's not completely clueless," Hinata thought.

As Hinata was thinking things over, Punku surprised her by flipping her off and making a weird face at her.

"What? You bitch," Hinata said charging her.

"Angel of Anarchy!" Punku shouted as purple feathered wings sprouted from her back and she took to the air.

"What the fuck?" Hinata said confused. "Get down here, you pussy!"

"No," Punku said with a smile. "Punk Style: Reign of Anarchy."

Hinata dodges as kunai rained down onto her, when finished, she noticed the paper bombs attached to them.

"Oh, shit," she said as they exploded around her.

Sakura and Metaru were duking it out fiercely, the sound of metal clanged out as each blow landed. Metaru threw a kick that Sakura grabbed and flung her around in the air then let her go, she flew threw a series of trees. When she landed, she responded by picking up one of the trees and throwing it at her, Sakura batted the tree down but Metaru smacked her with another that knocked her back a few yards.

"Brutal," Metaru said.

Meanwhile, Punku watched from high above as the smoke from the explosions began to clear.

"She's got to be dead," Punku said to herself.

The smoke finally cleared to reveal Hinata staring back at her from inside a smaller crater from the Rotation she used to shield herself within the larger crater caused by the explosion.

"You're going down, bitch," Hinata said.

"On Naruto," Punku said. "Right after I beat you."

Suddenly, Hinata got a brilliant idea.

"I just got a brilliant idea," she thought to herself.

See? Sakura staggered to her feet as Metaru watched admiring her handiwork.

"Ow," Sakura said jokingly. "Ow. Okay, that hurt. That didn't feel good."

As Metaru watched, she noticed Sakura's injuries regenerating.

"Oh, so you're the healer of the group?" Metaru asked. "I can't think of anything more brutal than killing a healer."

They resumed bludgeoning each other with their bare hands until they clenched in a test of strength and wills.

"Headbanger Jutsu!" Metaru shouted.

She focused all of the chakra to her forehead and headbutted Sakura who just smiled and returned the headbutt.

"This forehead isn't just for looks."

As they continued to bang heads, Hinata was putting her plan into action as she ran into the trees.

"What's she doing?" Punku asked herself.

"The Rotation gave me this idea," she thought as she ran up a tree.

When she got to the top, she jumped while directing a good bit of her chakra to her feet and violently ejecting it as done with her Rotation Jutsu. The force sent her flying into the air, her aim was true as she sped towards Punku.

"Who the fuck does she think she is?" Punk thought arrogantly.

She kicked Hinata as soon as she reached her making her poof in a cloud of smoke.

"A clone?"

She didn't have time to think as she was tackled in midair, she managed to look to find Hinata beating her as they plummeted toward the earth. Hinata broke her wings then wrapped her arms around her and drove her into the ground hard, they got up to their feet and looked each other in the eye. As they stood in the new crater they created, Sakura and Metaru's battle continued as Metaru broke the clench and kicked her in the chest. Sakura hit the ground and Metaru got on top up her beating her in the face, she was driving Sakura skull into the ground until she reversed it and pushed her off. She got back to her feet and all four combatants looked each other in the eye with only one thought on their mind.

"I am not giving up."

**SORRY THE CHAPTER'S SO SHORT, I GOT CAUGHT UP IN WATCHING MY FAVORITE NFL TEAM, THE PITTSBURGH STEELERS, LOSE LAST NIGHT. I FEEL SO NUMB INSIDE RIGHT NOW.:'-( ANYWAY, I'D LIKE TO SAY HELLO TO THE USUAL SUSPECTS AND FOXGODDESS07.**

**OH, YEAH. THE ULTIMATE ALLIANCE OF AUTHORS HAS A FORUM ON THIS SITE, GO CHECK IT OUT AND RAVERCOZY HAS CREATED HIS OWN FORUM, THAT'S RIGHT, HIS OWN FORUM ON ANOTHER SITE. THE LINKS ON HIS PAGE.**


	3. Naruto Rescued

**The Ultimate Alliance of Authors Episode 4 What's With Movies Today?**

**The Ultimate Alliance of Authors made it back to their base after battling Jealousy Inferno, The White Hot Hater, to rest and recover when lulamaemobster had a thought as he watched the television.**

"**Hey, do you any of you guys know what the fuck that movie "Avatar" is about?"**

"**The Last Airbender?" ravercozy asked.**

"**I didn't see anyone with an arrow in on their head," Kage Bijuu said.**

"**It's not about the cartoon," lulamaemobster said. "I know that much."**

"**Well, shit," Morristofoxes said. "I have no clue on earth."**

"**That's the problem with movies nowadays," Uzumakie said. **

"**What?" they asked.**

"**There's no story to these movie, just massive CGI."**

"**Yeah," Adngo 417 said. "They didn't even tell us what the story's about in the commercial, they just flash us the greatest CGI ever and expect us to come dish out money to see it."**

"**I, for one, am sick of it," Blame Truth said. "I want substance, not style."**

"**Yeah, give me a good story and I'm hooked," lulamaemobster said. "To hell with CGI and all that other stuff. The Dark Knight is a great movie and the only CGI they really used was Two Face's, uh, face."**

"**That was CGI?" asked Adngo417.**

"**Yeah, it was good use of it too. Less was more in this case," lulamaemobster said.**

"**Did you guys here that they were making a remake of The Crow?" asked Chewie Cookies, the newest member of The Ultimate Alliance of Authors.**

"**Yeah, I heard," lulamaemobster said. "The director of the first movie wasn't happy, he said that it'd be disrespectful to Brandon Lee."**

"**I guess," ravercozy said. "What they should've done was just make a sequel that didn't suck like the other three."**

"**They were alright," Morristofoxes said. "You know what I'm tired of?"**

"**What?" they asked.**

"**Twilight."**

"**Fuckin' right!" lulamaemobster said. "I haven't even seen the damn movies and I'm kinda tired of seen them. Y'all ever notice how Kristen Whatever The Fuck Her Name Is always looks high?"**

"**As a fuckin' kite," Kage Bijuu said. "Bring back Lindsay Lohan."**

"**Yeah," Uzumakie added. "I'd rather have my lead actress actually high than just looking high."**

"**Yeah, they're really fake mixin' with that," lulamaemobster said. "On the subject of Lindsay Lohan, I liked her better when she had that weight on her. She was thick."**

"**What I'm tired of is since Twilight came out," ravercozy said. "Vampires are all emotional and shit."**

"**I miss the days where vampires just bit the shit outta people and called it a night," lulamaemobster said. "Although I can't get enough of True Blood."**

**At that moment, their rest was interrupted by the alarm.**

"**Emergency! Emergency!" the computer said over the P.A. "The base is under attack!"**

**They rushed outside to find her was attacking them.**

"**Fuckin' Slime Women," Kage Bijuu said.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Naruto Rescued.**

All four of the combatant readied themselves for their final attacks.

"You're going down, bitch," Sakura said.

"Bring it," replied Metaru.

They charged each other and leapt into the air throwing the strongest punch either of them could muster, they connected and the shockwave from the sound leveled the surrounding trees around them with only one girls standing.

"Brutal," Metaru said as she looked down at Sakura.

Meanwhile, Hinata and Punku were ready to end their skirmish.

"It's over," Hinata said.

"For you maybe," Punku said with a sneer.

They charged each other like Sakura and Metaru had but instead of attacking, Punku slide underneath Hinata confusing her. When Hinata turned around, Punku jumped into the air and grabbed her head driving it into the ground and knocking her out.

"I rule," she said triumphantly.

Elsewhere, Ten gearing up for a battle with Rappu as she took out her sword.

"Just who the hell do you whores think you are?"

Rappu created a clone that started beatboxing as she began to rap.

**My name's Rappu**

**And I'm the best**

**And I made Naruto**

**Suck my breasts**

**Eh op eh op**

**Eh op eh op**

**Eh op eh op**

**Eh op eh op**

**Ip ip**

**Ip**

"I'm gonna fuckin' kill you," Ten said after hearing what she did to Naruto.

"Free Style: Battle Jutsu!"

Ten noticed a change in Rappu's body.

"Her muscles seem a bit leaner," Ten thought.

"My speed's increased," Rappu said.

"What?" Ten asked.

"I see you noticed the affect this jutsu has on my body, I'm faster and more agile."

"So, I'll just beat you faster," Ten said.

With that, they sped towards each other while Ino was facing off with Jazi.

"Hey, it's cool, man," Jazi said. "You guys need to relax."

"We'll relax when we get Naruto home," Ino said as she attacked Jazi.

Jazi style of combat was confusing as she never dodged an attack, she merely rolled with the punches calmly making them all glancing blows a best. Seeing those things were going nowhere fast, Ino backed off and decided to take a different tactic.

"Mind Transfer Jutsu!"

Ten and Rappu were clashing swords with Rappu's speed and agility were matched by Ten's skill and technique, there were slash marks in the trees that weren't cut down from their display. Sparks began to fly and the forest began to burn around them. They paid it no attention as their focus was on each other and the task at hand, Ino entered Jazi's mind but was quickly forced out.

"Uh-uh," Jazi said with a smile. "My mind's too cool for you, fool."

"We'll see how cool you are when you're on you ass," Ino said.

"Yeah, keep thinking that. Jazz Style: Bass Jutsu!"

The sound of Jazi's voice resonated and shook the ground beneath them, causing Ino to lose her footing. She struggled to stay on her feet while simultaneously defending against Jazi's attacks.

As they faced off, Ino was trying to figure out how to overcome Jazi's defense.

"I have to land something solid," Ino thought. "Or maybe I don't."

Ten and Rappu were still going at it, as they fire surrounded them, they had to dodge both each other's attack without being burned. The nicks and burns on their bodies were evidence of how difficult it was becoming to do both.

"Shit," Ten thought. "I've gotta end this."

"This can't go on much longer," Rappu thought.

They rushed toward each other with their swords at the ready, they slashed at each other and one of them fell.

"That's some ol' bullshit," Rappu said as she fell to the ground.

Ten left her in the fire in search of one of her allies, Ino was putting her plan of defeating Jazi into action as she dug into her ninja pouch with both hand.

"Damn," Ino said loud enough for Rappu to hear. "I don't have any tools left, they all fell out during that earthquake."

"That's too bad for you," Jazi said. "Bass Jutsu!"

The ground began to shake once again and Jazi attacked her once again, Ino was defending the best she could. In trying to fight and keep her balance, Ino ended up scratching Jazi on her arm. Jazi kept on fighting until her body locked up on her.

"What's happening to me?" she struggled to say through her paralysis.

Ino just smiled as she got back to her feet.

"That was some Ninja Wolf's Bane extract I scratched you with, you don't have long, you laid back bitch."

Ino leaves to find Naruto and the others as Karin with Naruto behind her, faced off with Arinbi.

"It'll be okay, Naruto," Karin said.

"Actually, she's okay," he said to Karin's surprise. "She was actually kind to me."

"She was?"

"Yeah, she convinced them to give me a break from time to time at least."

"Well, she was always the nice one," Karin said.

"I'd rather not fight you, Karin," Arinbi said. "After all, you should've been one of us but the others will be angry with me if I don't."

"I don't want to fight you either but I'm not giving Naruto up," Karin said. "So what are we going to do?"

They both took out a kunai and began fighting half heartedly until they heard a voice from the trees.

"Dat was pathetic," the voice said.

"I agree," said another.

They looked up to the tree to find two more females, Temari who was staring at the other with malice and her eyes.

"Temari?" Karin asked.

"Raggaeku?" Arinbi asked.

"If ya' two ain't gonna fight, den let us," Reggaeku said.

"What are you doing here?" Karin asked Temari.

"I was coming to help you guys out, I don't know where this bitch came from," Temari said.

"Bombaclot!" Reggaeku said.

"Why don't you like her?" Karin asked.

"I had to rescue Shikamaru from her earlier."

"De ottas like teir men strong but me gotta ting for da smart men," she said.

"She would've had her way with Shikamaru if he wasn't asleep," Temari said.

"And me gonna put ya' bloodclot ass to sleep right now, lorda mercy."

Temari took out her fan and Reggaeku let out her dreadlocks, they began to battle as Temari dodged the razor blades on the end of Reggaeku's hair. Temari swung her fan and force Reggaeku to go on the defensive to avoid the wind. As they fought, Metaru, Punku, Ten and Ino arrived while the fire around the forest began to reach them.

"You skanks didn't beat Sakura and Hinata, did you?" asked Ten.

"There's no way you could've beaten Rappu and Jazi," Metaru said.

They were about to lock horns in a three on three battle until some Leaf Village ANBU arrived carrying the unconscious Sakura and Hinata to back up the Cherry Bombs, weakened and outnumbered, the Queens decided to fight and live another day.

"We'd better find the other two before this fire kills them," Metaru said.

"Just remember that we no where you live, Naruto," Punku said licking her lips at him.

The Queens disappeared in a cloud of smoke as the Bombs headed home, they found their friends and decided to get them away from the fire. When they reached a safe point, Metaru healed them.

"Metal Health Care Jutsu!"

After a few minutes, Rappu's wound was healed and the poison in Jazi's system was neutralized, it took another few minutes for them to regain consciousness. They got up and looked around to find their friend and no Naruto.

"We lost, didn't we?" asked Rappu.

"I'd say Naruto's on a vacation," Punku said with a smile on her face. "But he's not going to find any rest."

"What are you going to do, Reggaeku?" Arinbi asked.

"Wad'ya tink? Me gonna go after Shikamaru, I and I don't give a damn wat dat fan bitch say."

The Bombs got back to the Leaf Village and immediately took Naruto to the Leaf Village hospital, Tsunade checked her top shinobi personally.

"He just needs some rest," Tsunade said. "That's just how I used to leave Dan."

"I really hate when you talk about getting it on with my uncle," Shizune said.


	4. New Villagers

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 8 Joe Lieberman and Global Warming**

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors were heading over to a party that Hot Stuck Up Bitch was reported to be attending.**

"**Hey, you guys heard about Joe Lieberman?" lulamaemobster asked.**

"**Who's that?" ravercozy asked.**

"**He's a senator from the U.S. and he's trying to cockblock the nation on health care."**

"**This again?" ravercozy asked. "What's with your government?"**

"**I don't know," Morristofoxes said. "I don't know how many times someone has to say millions of people will die if this doesn't happen for you to get off the bench and into the game."**

"**At some point," Blame Truth added. "It comes down to being a decent human being."**

"**It's said that it's the job of the government to do for the people what they cannot do for themselves. Right now, the people of the U.S. are sick and they can't heal themselves so the government has to step up."**

"**Well said," ravercozy said.**

"**Here, here," lulamaemobster added.**

"**You know what I don't understand?" Kage Bijuu asked.**

"**What?"**

"**The fact that they don't believe in global warming."**

"**They're even saying that it's a hoax by Al Gore to make money," Uzumakie said.**

"**That's pretty fuckin' stupid," Chewie Cookies said. "They don't see how long it takes winter to get cold?"**

"**I saw a report on the new where there was an iceberg twice the size of Manhattan heading for Australia," Adngo417 said. "Fucked up is what that is."**

"**Okay, we're here," ravercozy said. "Everyone get ready.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**New Villagers**

Naruto was taking the prescribed rest in the Leaf Village hospital, during the first day of he got a roommate, Shikamaru, who was hospitalized by Temari. Temari met Shikamaru at his house with a present for him.

"Here ya' go, Shikamaru" Temari said presenting him with a present.

"What's this for?" he asked confused.

"You're kidding me, right?" she asked with malice in her eyes. "You didn't for get, did you?"

"Forget what?" he asked even more confused.

Temari crushed the present and began to brutalize Shikamaru in front of his parents.

"She's going to make him very happy," his mother said hugging his father as they watched. "Don't you think?"

"Uh, yeah," Shikaku lied to avoid the same treatment.

As Shikamaru was rolled in, they were visited by the Cherry Bombs.

"Hello, Naruto," they said in unison.

"Hey, what's shakin,' girls?"

Temari walked over to Shikamaru and drew her hand back as if she was going to hit him making him flinch.

"That's two for flinching," she said as she gave him two quick kisses on the lips.

This quickly turned into a make out session as she climbed into the bed with him, while the other Cherry Bombs spoke with Naruto.

"Well, I just stopped by to see you before my shift was over," Sakura said with a scowl. "And these slut monkeys decided to get between our love again."

"Slut monkey?" Naruto said. "A new one."

"Thanks."

"Bitch, you know damn well why you came here," Hinata said. "Lady Tsunade said he needed some rest so you're just going to have to cool it down there, Hot Twat."

"Hot twat," Naruto chuckled. "Alright, y'all been reading, huh?"

As Naruto just lied there while the fought over him until Temari decided that she had her fill of her and Shikamaru fondling each other.

"You guys ready?"

"Ready?" Naruto asked. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, we're just going to hang," Temari said. "I think that we should bond if we're going to be a team."

"Bye Naruto," they said.

"Bye," he said as after they all gave him a kiss.

As soon as Shikamaru was sure they left, he had one question for Naruto.

"So how was it getting a train ran on you?"

"Honestly?" Naruto asked as he got out of bed to check if the girls were really gone.

"Yeah."

"It was fuckin' awesome," Naruto said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, there was this one girl with green hair, her name was Punku. Man, she was so skanky and I'm not being insulting, a total skankazoid."

"You like skanks?" Shikamaru asked confused.

"I didn't know it before," Naruto answered. "I mean, I love the girls but they're all so clean this chick looked like she didn't give a damn about herself."

"Nice."

"Yeah, what about you and that Reggaeku?"

"Oh, she was actually pretty cool," Shikamaru explained.

After the Cherry Bombs left to rescue Naruto for the second time, Shikamaru headed home for some clan business when he found himself enveloped in smoke until he passed out. When he woke up, he found himself naked strapped down with a naked Reggaeku straddling him smoking something.

"Those aren't the types of cigarettes Asuma-sensei smokes," he said through his coughs. "They make me feel kinda funny."

"Smoke somma dis and 'ya feel even funnier," Reggaeku said as she put what she was smoking in his lips.

He took a hit and began coughing uncontrollably, after a few minutes of smoking, he started to feel a bit lifted.

"Hey, man," he started to giggle. "You ever notice how we're ninjas?"

"Yeah, mon," she giggled with him. "We be ninjas."

"I know, it's like we're ninjas, man."

After they smoked, Reggaeku started to kiss on Shikamaru but found him asleep. She tried stroking him member but that didn't work, she tried sucking on it but that didn't work either.

"Bombaclot," she said to herself. "Looks like I and I gon' have to wait 'til later."

She put her clothes on and left him until he awoke, that's when she faced off with Temari.

"Yeah, she was cool," Shikamaru said.

The next day, the Cherry Bombs came to visit them again but found them missing with a videotape in their place. They looked at it and found a sound note with a queen's crown on the top of it.

"Oh, no the fuck, they didn't," Hinata said. "I know they didn't do what I think they've just done."

They took the tape to Lady Tsunade who was meeting with Shizune, Kurenai, and Anko.

"What's the matter with you?" Tsunade asked.

"Naruto's missing," Ino said.

"Again?" asked Anko.

"What the fuck, does he have 'kidnap me' written on his forehead," Shizune asked.

"They left this tape," Karin said.

They put the tape in and it came one to show the Queens of Sound with Naruto and Shikamaru strapped down.

"Hey, y'all look," Rappu said. "We got Naruto and Shikamaru."

They watched as they humiliated the two of them.

"High Five," Rappu said as she slapped Naruto five.

"Looked how naked he is," Punku said before she took hold of his penis. "Look at his dick, I'm suckin' on it."

They watched as she began sucking Naruto off while the other girls began to kiss and rub on each other except for Reggaeku who was already on top of Shikamaru and having her way with him. The Cherry Bombs and the older women were appalled except for Ino, Karin, and Anko who began to fidget slightly from arousal.

"That's it," Tsunade said. "I'm going with you to get them back this time.

"We're going too," Kurenai said. "It's been a while since I've seen Lady Tsunade in action."

"Lead the way, Karin," Anko said.

Karin lead them another of the Queens of Sound's hideouts, they were met on the outside by all six of the Queens.

"I gotta say that it hurts you leading them to us, Karin," Metaru said.

"You came here for nothing," Jazi said. "We're not giving them up, so, just leave and we'll let you walk away from here."

"I'm going to end you whores," Temari shouted.

As the two groups bickered, Tsunade grew tired and decided to be heard.

"I'm Lady Tsunade, who are you again?"

"We are the Queens of Sound," Punku said.

"Oh, Queens of Sound, fuck faces?" Tsunade asked making sure she got it right. "I want you to take one giant step back and literally FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!"

Tsunade's outburst caught the Cherry Bombs by surprise while Anko and the other older women just smiled seeing the woman they idolized when they started out taking the lead.

"Now, I don't know what kind of teenage love struggle you have going but Naruto and Shikamaru are Leaf Shinobi and that's my territory so whatever you're thinking you'd better think again 'cuz, otherwise, I'm gonna head over there and I will rain an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you. You're going to have to get a fucking binding Kage Summit fucking resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you, I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker. I will massacre you, I WILL FUCK YOU UP!"

After being put back in their places, the Queens looked at each other confused and a little afraid.

"Yes, ma'am," they said.

"Now," Tsunade said calming down. "If you're willing to, we can talk about this like ladies."

They all discussed the situation and came to a decision, Naruto and the sleeping Shikamaru's door opened and the light blinded them after being held in the dark.

"Please, let me go," Naruto begged not looking at who it was. "I'll do anything, I'll make you feel good."

"Looking at that thing," a female voice said. "I'm sure you'd have no trouble doing that."

Naruto looked up and found Anko approaching him with a grin on her face as she poked at his penis.

"I must say, you are gifted," Anko said.

She untied them and gave them their clothes, they came out to find Tsunade, Kurenai, and Shizune waiting on them as the Cherry Bombs and Queens of Sound both looked at each other with great hostility.

"It's good to see you again," Tsunade said to two of her top shinobi.

"What's going on?" Naruto asked.

"They've talked it out at the Hokage's request," Kurenai said.

"And it's been decided that the Queens of Sound will end their diabolical scheme and join our village," Shizune said. "Except for Reggaeku who'll be joining the Sand Village."

"So I can keep an eye on her," Temari said as she and Reggaeku stared each other down.

"You've been wonderful for business, Naruto," Tsunade smiled. "I've already received a high paying S-Class Mission for you and you've boosted recruitment. You're a regular workhorse."

"He's hung like one too," Anko said boldly.

"Hey!" the Cherry Bombs and Queens of Sound shouted in unison.

"What? They were naked when I found him."

"Yeah, it's basically why we can't let them go," Metaru said. "Giving that up would be too brutal."

"Yeah, we can agree on that," Ino said. "He's so big."

"Shikamaru too," Temari and Reggaeku said in unison.

Hearing this made Naruto and Shikamaru grin with their hands on their hips and their chests poking out.

"Yeah, it's pretty troublesome carrying this thing around," Shikamaru said a bit…cocky. "Right, Naruto."

"Believe it," Naruto said laughing as he and Shikamaru slapped each other five.

As they laughed about their gifts, the older women were looking on not believing what they heard.

"They can't be that big," Tsunade said to the other older women. "They haven't had that much sex, they couldn't possibly know."

"Anko said it's big but her freaky ass can have an orgasm from a good draft," Kurenai said. "There's only one way to find out."

"You're right," Shizune added.

"Hey, guys," Tsunade said. "How 'bout a preview of the goods."

Naruto and Shikamaru looked at each other grinning.

"Why not?"

They unzipped their pants and their penises flopped out causing the older women's jaws to drop, they slowly began to applaud as the Bombs and Queens had quite enough.

"Okay, zip it up, guys."

Before they headed home, a thought popped into Naruto's head.

"Hey, time out, time out, time the fuck out."

"What now?" Tsunade said.

"This is some bullshit," he said.

"What?" they asked.

"I didn't say anything when Karin joined because she's actually a citizen of the village and I'm not mad that this particular group of kunoichi is joining because I can see them when they're coming now but what the fuck? Can anyone become a Leaf Shinobi?"

"Naruto, I…" Tsunade was cut off as Naruto continued his tirade.

"You know how hard it was for me growing up? I had to sleep on a pissy mattress and it wasn't my piss, I didn't have good food to eat growing up. I didn't have parents to pay my tuition, I just finished paying back my student loans. Fuck Fannie Mae!"

"Naruto?" Tsunade sighed.

"What?"

"Shut up."

Naruto just shook his head and started back to the village in silent anger as they followed. They got back to the village and Naruto set the Queens that were staying in the Leaf Village up with rooms in his house until they got their own places before leaving on his first S-Class Mission with Kakashi, Yamato, and Sai. The Bombs had decided to stay in Naruto's house as well.

"We're here to make sure you horrible whores don't do anything to Naruto's house," Hinata said.

The time at the house was spent with the Bombs matching every move the Queens made, it was night time and the Queens decided that they wanted to try out Naruto's hot tub. The Bombs followed them and they sat in the hot tub looking blankly off into space for a while.

"Okay, they're gone," Karin said as she could sense Kiba and the others watching them again.

"Good," Metaru said. "What the hell is you guys problem anyway?"

"We don't like you," Ten said. "You tried to take Naruto away from us."

"Yeah, tried," Punku said. "We're apart of the village now, get over it. We are."

As they sat in the hot tub, the Queens got bored and began making out with each other, Metaru eventually moved over to Sakura but she was quickly rebuffed.

"You guys are really still mad about that?"

"Yeah, but it's not that," Sakura said. "We're not into chicks."

"Really?" Rappu asked.

"Well, Ino and Karin are," Hinata said.

"Shut up," Ino said.

"Well, we did do it," Karin said. "It wasn't anything major, she just needed some help getting off."

"You do know that Naruto loved it when we did each other, right?" Jazi asked.

"He did?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah, well, he pretended he didn't because of him being kidnapped and all," Punku said. "But we could see it in his eyes."

"Why don't you give it a try?" Metaru asked. "It's really nothing but licking stuff and sticking your finger in things."

It took a little convincing but Sakura, Hinata, and Ten eventually agreed if they took it into the house and away from any prying eyes. They went into the house and set themselves up in the largest room they could find, as the rest of them cleared the room of its furniture and put down towels, Karin went to her room to find all of her toys. She came back and dropped a handful of dildos and vibrators while she wore a strap on.

"I've been waiting to use this thing," she said as she wiggled the strap on in her hand. "Shall we get started?"

As expected, Karin and Ino went right to it while Sakura, Hinata, and Ten seemed hesitant, they were cured of this quickly as Metaru, Punku, and Rappu headed right for them.


	5. Rival Teams United By Naruto

**The Ultimate Alliance Of Authors Episode 12 Divide And Conquer**

**Morristofoxes steps up to try his hand but lulamaemobster stops him because he has an idea.**

"**I just realized what the problem was."**

"**What?" they all asked.**

"**You guys tried to holla at her while she's with her friend," he explained. "You can't approach a woman while she's with her friend, she has too much balls then and there isn't much you can say. Even if you can break down her defenses she can still use her friend as an excuse to shut you down."**

"**So, what do you suggest?" Morristofoxes asked.**

"**I'll go ahead of you, that way I can get Nerdy Chick That's Actually As Hot If Not Hotter Than Her Friend But Hasn't Blossomed Yet away from her and you can swing into action. Besides, I like nerdy chicks better, they have much better conversations."**

**Morristofoxes takes a few seconds to get ready as they watch lulamaemobster approach them, he walks up to the two of them and holds out his hand.**

"**Would you like to dance?"**

"**With you?" Hot Stuck Up Bitch asked. "Please."**

"**Actually, I was talking to your friend," he said to their surprise. "Would you like to dance?"**

**They were stunned and Nerdy Chick That's Actually As Hot If Not Hotter Than Her Friend But Hasn't Blossomed Yet looked to her friend who was much more experienced for guidance.**

"**Go," Hot Stuck Up Bitch said.**

**She watched as her friend went off with lulamaemobster and thoughts were racing through her head.**

"**He was cute, just like the other guys before. Why do I do this to myself?"**

"**Hi, do you want to dance?"**

**She snapped out of it and found Morristofoxes smiling at her with his hand out.**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO AND/OR THE CHARACTERS**

**Rival Teams United By Naruto**

Karin and Ino had already begun to take part in the evening's activities, Karin used the strap-on and was giving it to Arinbi from behind while her face was buried in Ino's pussy as Jazi sat on Ino's face. Meanwhile, Sakura, Hinata, and Ten were being introduced to being with another woman by their counterparts in the Queens of Sound. Metaru, using her enhanced strength, lifted Sakura onto her shoulders as she tasted her. Rappu laid Ten to on her back then threw her legs back exposing her pussy and ass, Rappu started go back and forth licking each hole as she fingered the other. Hinata lived up to her wildcard role and proved to be more adventurous as she was and Punku were already engaged in a 69. When Metaru and Rappu felt that Sakura and Ten were relaxed enough, they brought the tools Karin provided into things. Metaru took a double sided dildo and connected herself to Sakura, Sakura began moaning loudly as they grinded down on to it making their clits rub together which added to the stimulation. Rappu and Ten simply made out while they both had vibrators inside them, Hinata and Punku were still ahead as they had now gotten involved with the other girls. Hinata put on another strap-on that Karin brought and were giving it to Punku from both sides as Ino, Arinbi, and Jazi were eating each other's pussies. Eventually, the other girls joined in until they all came in one massive orgasm, they just laid their on top of each other as they came down from bliss.

"Well, being with Naruto's better," Hinata said. "But it was pretty good."

"We told you," Jazi said.

"We'd better clean up," Arinbi said. "We don't want to leave this room in such a mess."

They cleaned up and went to sleep for the night, they woke up and Queens of Sound went to the hokage tower to fill out their paperwork to receive their IDs and forehead protectors as Leaf Shinobi. They knelt before the hokage as she bestowed their forehead protectors to them as the Cherry Bombs, Shizune, Anko, and Kurenai looked on.

"As per the agreement between your two groups," Tsunade said. "There will always be an equal number of each group in the village, for every Queen of Sound in the village, there will be the same number of Cherry Bombs."

"That practically makes both you guys a team," Anko said. "Don't you think you need a new name?"

"I don't know," Jazi said. "You think?"

"How 'bout the Bitches of Brutality?" Metaru asked.

"No," Tsunade said. "Then people will think you're a bunch of violent Inuzuka women."

"How about Anarchy & Ass?" Punku suggested.

"Can you really call yourself anarchistic anymore," Shizune asked. "You wearing that forehead protector means you're now conforming to rules."

Realization sets in on Punku and she heads for the door.

"Get some ANBU ready."

"What for?" Tsunade asked.

"I'm going to break some rules," she said as she pulled out her Leaf Shinobi rulebook and started reading.

"Just don't kill anybody."

They were still working on a name as Tsunade ordered her ANBU to follow Punku.

"How about Smooth Shinobi Sirens" Jazi asked.

"Naw, too long," Anko said. "You want your enemies to be scared not trying not to fuck up your names."

"Look, this is our name too," Sakura said. "Don't you think we should have something signifying both groups?"

"You're right." Arinbi said.

"We're open to suggestions," Rappu said.

"How 'bout the Cherry Queens?" Ten suggested.

"No," Kurenai said. "It sounds like you're a bunch of gay virgins."

"Sound Bombs?" Ino asked.

"We need a name that let's everyone know how ridiculously hot we are," Ten said.

"And how brutal we are," Metaru added.

At that moment, they heard a commotion outside, they rushed to the window and saw the ANBU trying to control Punku.

"That looks pretty painful," Tsunade said as she watched Punku fighting off the ANBU.

They all looked at each other as the proverbial light bulb went on.

"From now on, we're Pretty Painful."

**MESSAGE FROM lulamaemobster!**

**THAT'S THE END OF THAT STORY, THERE'S A SEQUEL IN THE WORKS AS THIS SAGA HAS BECOME MY MOST CHALLENGING. I WANT TO MAKE THE SEQUEL A CROSSOVER WITH THIS FREAKY ASS ANIME I'VE RECENTLY DISCOVERED, ANGEL BLADE(JUST WHEN I THOUGHT ANIME COULDN'T GET ANY MORE WEIRD), I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE HEARD OF IT. THE PROBLEM IS THAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT FREAKING MYSELF OUT BY WRITING THE STUFF THAT HAPPENS IN ANGEL BLADE, IF YOU'VE SEEN THE ANIME THEN YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. I MEAN, I'VE ONLY SEEN CLIPS AND READ ABOUT IT ON-LINE BUT THOSE WOMEN ARE GNARLY. THEN AGAIN, IT SAYS A LOT ABOUT WHO I AM ARTISTICALLY IF I TACKLE SOMETHING THAT I'M HESITANT ABOUT. ALSO, I'M READY TO DO THE STORY I WANTED, "WALK," THE ONE THAT "NARUTO & GAARA" BEAT OUT MUCH TO MY SURPRISE. HERE'S A BRIEF SYNOPSIS, THE LEAF VILLAGE IS FULL OF BADASSES. ZABUZA JOINS THEM BECAUSE THEY LIKE HIS STYLE, THE THIRD HOKAGE LIVES BECAUSE HE FUCKED OROCHIMARU UP BAD, JIRAIYA'S A PIMP, TSUNADE RUNS A BROTHEL/CASINO, SASUKE DOESN'T LEAVE AND NEJI'S FATHER, HIZASHI, IS STILL ALIVE BECAUSE THE LEAF VILLAGE DOESN'T PLAY THAT SHIT AND THOSE ARE THE GOOD GUYS. THERE'S ANOTHER STORY I'M KICKING AROUND CALLED "NINJAPALOOZA" WHERE NARUTO'S FIGURED OUT AWAY TO BRING PEACE, A SHINOBI FREE FOR ALL. I DON'T KNOW WHEN I WANT TO DO IT, I WOULD START IT NOW BUT I WANT TO START THE NEXT SAGA OF PRETTY PAINFUL AND ALL OF MY STORIES END UP BEING LONGER THAN I EXPECTED. ALSO, IF YOU HAVEN'T, GO ONTO ravercozy OR MY PAGE TO FIND OUR WEBSITE AND JOIN THE ULTIMATE ALLIANCE OF AUTHORS FORUM, WHO KNOWS, YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO BECOME A MEMBER. WE EVEN HAVE A CHAT ROOM, THANKS TO ravercozy, WHERE WE CAN CONGREGATE AND KICK AROUND IDEAS AND ONCE YOU JOIN, YOU'RE AUTOMATICALLY ACCEPTED INTO THE LULA MAE MAFIA, MAFIA ALL DAY. THIS FANFICTION SITE DESERVES A BETTER CLASS OF WRITERS AND WE'RE GONNA GIVE IT TO 'EM. EVEN IF YOU DON'T BECOME A MEMBER, YOU CAN BE A CLOSE FRIEND OF OURS LIKE THE LEGENDARY LEGEND OF NAMIKAZE NARUTO AND THE FEROCIOUSLY SWEET SMELLING ROSE TIGER, WHO ARE MY TOP TWO DRAFT PICKS FOR THE ALLIANCE. I'M TELLING YOU GUYS, YOU WANT TO JOIN NOW WHILE THERE'S STILL ROOM BECAUSE OUR REPUTATION IS EXPANDING FASTER THAN THE GALAXY.**


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